One Year Ago

Exactly one year ago, I peed on a stick and my life changed forever. Who knew two pink lines could make a person so incredibly happy? This was back when life was easy and... normal. Aaron and I were living in Arizona. We knew that we were being reassigned soon, and we assumed that we would be moving somewhere down south, where we would be able to raise our first child together. We also simply assumed that the little developing embryo inside of my uterus was perfectly healthy.
We couldn't have been more wrong. Little did we know, we were both about to be thrown into a crazy whirlwind of a pregnancy- and separated for most of it. The baby inside my belly was a far cry from healthy, but he would steal our hearts anyways, the moment we saw his little white silhouette on our first ultrasound.
Had I known ahead of time that I would spend the majority of my pregnancy on bedrest, worrying incessantly, would I do it again? Would I have felt differently knowing that I would have to spend six weeks in hell the NICU, barely able to care for or comfort my own child? Would I have been as happy if I knew that I was going to have to raise a newborn with multiple health problems all by myself, while my husband was hundreds of miles away? Was it worth it?
Absolutely. Every tear shed along this journey has been worth it. I am a better, stronger woman now than I was one year ago. Look at what came of it all- a happy baby boy. What could be better? Elliot is my entire world. He lights up my life. All the tough times over the last twelve months are instantly erased when I see his smile. When he reaches for my hand. When he looks up at me with those big eyes and I just know how much he loves and depends on me.
I'd do it again. I'd do it a hundred times.
I love you, Elliot Reid, and you are absolutely perfect in every way.




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