Did you notice that I said it WAS easy instead of it IS easy? Yeah. That's because lately, neither Elliot or I have been getting much sleep. I now dread the hours between 3-8am, because during that time, my sweet, cuddly baby turns into a sleep-deprived monster. He kicks, pulls my hair, and SCREAMS. And not "woe is me, mommy cuddle me" crying... we're talking "I'm mad and I'm going to make sure the whole house knows it" SCREAMING. He won't eat {you have NO idea how much formula we've been wasting lately}, and he can't get comfortable in any of our usual positions. I tried rocking him, patting his back, singing, cuddling... the works. Nothing worked.
Last night, after trying to soothe him for three hours straight, I'd had enough. I decided to use a piece of advice one of our NICU nurses gave me awhile ago: if, after trying your best to soothe/comfort him, he was still super upset, to simply put him down for a bit and let him work it out himself. I'm 100% anti-Ferber, but if he was going to cry either way, why not put him in his pack & play?
So I laid him in his pack & play with his favorite blanket and turned on his soothe & glow seahorse. His screams rose another decibel, so I quietly patted his back. And wouldn't you know it? After a few minutes, he STOPPED crying and fell asleep! Paranoid, I stared at him for probably fifteen minutes until I was sure he was sleeping. Then, I crawled back into my bed, which suddenly felt lonely and empty, cried for a few minutes, and fell asleep. To my surprise, when Elliot woke up two hours later, at 8:00, he wasn't traumatized or upset... he was happily babbling away to the elephants on the pack & play's toy bar.
I'm trying to psyche myself up to try letting him sleep in his pack & play again tonight. I really, REALLY love cosleeping. There is just nothing better than cuddling with my little man all night long. But... It doesn't seem to be doing either of us any good anymore. Originally, I didn't want to transition him out of my bed until my husband came home, when he was 6 or 7 months old. But I guess sometimes plans change. :( I'm sad because this could be the end of another great time in my relationship with Elliot. I already had to stop breastfeeding... and now maybe cosleeping too?! Oh man. I'm not ready!!
Elliot sleeping peacefully in his pack & play
