Introducing Solids while Breastfeeding

My little sickling yesterday. If I won't give him the boobies, he instead sucks his thumb whenever he's sad or tired. He was doing naked time because he has the worst antibiotic poo... and I don't want his cute little bum to get rashy!

Somebody turned seven months old today. SEVEN MONTHS! Can you believe it?? He's still sick, but I think he's starting to feel a little better.

 Although we got off to a rough start, Emmett and I have had a wonderful nursing relationship up until now. He seems completely satisified on breastmilk alone, although he does show interest in "big people" food- he tries to grab anything and everything we're eating, and he enjoys drinking out of our water glasses (with help, of course). 

I enjoy nursing more than I ever thought I would, and I'm in no hurry to stop. For that reason, we still haven't started solids. In fact, other than a few attempts at rice cereal a couple months ago (the doctor had suggested trying it for his reflux... and it just made his spit up chunkier!) he hasn't had anything other than breastmilk.

One of Emmett's 6 month pictures. Better late than never, right?

 Since pediatricians and the AAP reccomend waiting until at least 6 months to start solids, we did. Then his six-month birthday came and passed, and he seemed perfectly content with things the way they were, so we didn't bother starting solids. 

Now that he's 7 months, I thought it was about time. I started doing some reasearch online, and stumbled upon an article that discussed how breastfed babies usually cannot properly absorb iron once they start solids. Also, I was surprised to read that some babies are exclusively breastfed all the way up to their first birthday! I didn't even know that was possible! The article also brought to my attention that starting solids can lead to weaning... and I'm certainly not ready to wean him yet! Admittedly, I haven't done too much reading on the topic up until now. Elliot wasn't able to breastfeed so it wasn't a concern of mine until recently. Now I feel sort of lost... and think I might wait longer to start solids. 

When did you introduce solids? How did it affect your nursing relationship and milk supply? 

Would you do things differently next time?

For old time's sake, I'll leave you with a picture of Elliot trying his first food. Look at that adorable avocado face! :D

Baby sleeping through the night = more posts for you.

Guess who has been sleeping through the night? 

Yep. You read right. My darling Emmett has been sleeping through the night for a couple of weeks now. Not only that, but he's also been waking up late- sometimes as late as 10am. 

What, exactly, does this mean for you, my neglected readers? Well... more blog posts, of course! I'm not going to lie. For a few weeks there, life with two under two was getting a little... shall we say, tricky. First of all, my husband was really starting to struggle with some anger and PTSD problems again. Elliot was still barely talking, so we had problems communicating, which was leading to more and more tantrums. Balancing  keeping all three of my men happy, and also still keeping a clean house and cooking phonomenal meals was getting too be almost too much too handle. Almost. 

But thennnn... Emmett started sleeping through the night, Elliot started speech therapy and is therefore learning to communicate more effectively, and my husband finally sought out the professional help that he needed and is now back to being the happy, loving, carefree man that I married.

So I guess you could say life is pretty good for me right now. We've been getting into the holiday spirit! I'm a Christmas FREAK, so, honestly, it would be really tough for me to not be happy this time of year.

...to be continued. :)

Breastfeeding: revisited.

Some of you may remember my struggles with breastfeeding Elliot. Now, don't get me wrong- we got off to a rough start. The chances of breastfeeding him were pretty low to begin with, since he was born with a birth defect (of the GI tract, no less) and spent so many weeks in the NICU. He was first tube fed, then bottle fed, out of neccessity, and I was pumping around the clock. Despite our best efforts, he never did latch or nurse successfully. He ended up on formula, and that broke my heart.

So I thought, this time, I'll have a healthy baby and it will be a piece of cake! But... then Emmett was born five weeks early, which led to a whole host of problems, affecting most of all his ability to eat and gain weight. At first, it seemed like he would NEVER breastfeed. In fact, at one point, he was exclusively bottle fed, and I had all but given up hope- I had even stopped pumping! But then there was a light at the end of the tunnel in a team of wonderful pediatric nurse practitioners and lactation consultants.

It has been a long road, of multiple appointments a week, of pain, of latching difficulties, too short of feedings, too long of feedings, weight loss, then too much weight gain, formula supplementation, syringe feeding, sleepless nights, nipple shields, projectile spit up, bottles, pumping around the clock, wrestling him onto the breast, then I almost lost my milk supply completely BUT...

Emmett is now exclusively breastfed! ♥
& I couldn't be happier.

And I just wanted to say...

If you are trying to breastfeed, and struggling, don't give up. You CAN do it.

... and if it doesn't work out, that's okay. Formula is just fine too!

Either way, your baby is getting what he/she needs to grow... and that's all that really matters.

Emmett sucking on the only other thing he likes other than the boob... his Daddy's finger.

life with 2 under 2 {so far}

I haven't been the best blogger since our little man, Emmett, was born. So I thought I'd give you all some much needed updates!

We've been having appointments with Emmett's pediatric doctor and my lactation consultant every other day. He has been sloooowwwwlllyyyy gaining weight back. Today, he was up to 6 lbs 1 oz, which is no change from Wednesday and still eight ounces from his birth weight, but at least he's maintaining and not losing. While we were there, we did a weighed feeding, and he managed to get 20ml in about 15 minutes, which isn't as much as a full term baby would consume at the breast, but still not bad. Considering how rough things were in the beginning, with him not latching at all, we are all pretty happy with his progress. He is doing SOOOOOO much better with the help of the nipple shield. In fact, they now upped his time at the breast to 15 minutes per side before offering the bottle, which makes me happy. We are slowly but surely getting closer to our ultimate goal- exclusively breastfeeding.


Elliot is adjusting REALLY well to his new baby brother- much better than I expected, to be honest. He pretty much does his own thing most of the time (busy, busy toddler!) but he likes bringing me things for the baby- pacifiers, burp cloths, etc. I think he does it just to hear the enthusiastic "THANK YOU" afterwards, but either way, it's pretty cute. He also likes to poke Emmett and give him kisses. :)


I'm feeling GREAT! I don't even feel like I just had a baby, and always find myself doing things I'm not supposed to do {like picking up Elliot}. So far, I've already lost 21 of the 35 pounds I gained during my pregnancy, without trying. I gained 45 when I was pregnant with Elliot, and lost the weight quickly and easily, but I thought it would be harder this time around. Looks like I might have been wrong! Fingers crossed!



Emmett wakes up to eat about every two hours. We're cosleeping, so he never cries because I wake up right when he starts to stir. I absolutely love having a little baby to snuggle up to again every night. The pack & play was originally set up next to the bed, but it has since been taken down and put away since we never used it.

Aaron goes back to work on Monday, but his mom is flying in tomorrow to stay with us for a week, to help me out while I sort out this whole 2 under 2 thing. So far, in the few times I've been left alone with the boys, things have gone pretty smoothly. There was one giant Elliot meltdown when I was nursing Elliot and his cup needed to be refilled. He doesn't have a whole lot of patience- after all, he's used to his mama devoting 100% of her attention to him and getting whatever he wanted whenever he asked for it. He'll adjust.

no more breastmilk?!

Today is a sad day.
I think I have finally come to the realization that things don't always go as planned. Sometimes, you have to do what's best for your child, even if it isn't what you originally wanted. It's no secret how badly I wanted to breastfeed my son. After all, I spent the last eight weeks pumping every two hours, taking a myriad of pills, herbs, and teas to increase my supply, trying to coax Elliot to nurse with breast shields and syringes, and, finally, bottle feeding him my pumped breastmilk.
Up until a few days ago, Elliot wasn't pooping. At all. He was going five day stretches without a single bowel movement before we finally resorted to using suppositories. During that time, he was receiving a combination of breastmilk and formula in his bottles, and spending most of the day screaming because his belly hurt.
A few nights ago, I accidentally spilled a ton of my milk and therefore had to make up a few formula-only bottles. That night, he screamed and refused to take half of his bottles... until I succumbed and offered him a formula-only bottle, which he immediately gulped down. The next morning, after four formula-only bottles, he pooped on his own for the first time in two weeks!
Wondering if it was just a coincidence, I withheld the breastmilk the last two days and gave him only formula... and sure enough, he pooped yesterday morning and again this morning. He's also been noticeably less cranky.
I called his doctor and he recommended not giving him any more breastmilk for now to see if he continues to do well without it. Elliot is on a special formula for sensitive tummies that contains partially broken down proteins, which is probably why he's having an easier time digesting the formula than my milk.
So, to put it simply, I'm sad. I feel like the odds were against us from the start, but I still really wanted to breastfeed. I know I can try again {and will most likely succeed} with the next baby but... still.
So for now, I'm just doing what seems to be best for my son. If that means giving him formula, so be it, but I'm certainly not happy about it!

Day thirty-five.

Elliot's Grandpa Steve {Aaron's dad} visited us today. Unfortunately for him, he showed up RIGHT at feeding time- and I wasn't about to miss an opportunity to try to nurse Elliot! So he checked out the new hospital while I tried struggled to breastfeed. Elliot was EXTREMELY angry and wanted nothing to do with the boob. Aaron kept reminding me about what I said yesterday, that he could have good days AND bad days, but, MAN! I was frustrated! It's hard not to feel like your son is rejecting you when he makes it so clear that he DOES NOT want to nurse. He hardly even took his bottle either, though... so I think he was just in a bad mood.
At his 3 o'clock feeding, after a few tries, he latched on and nursed quietly for about ten minutes. He then took about 40 cc's from the bottle. He seemed really full, and since we didn't know how much he got from me, we weren't sure how much to send through his NG tube. Tomorrow, we'll be using the breastfeeding scale before and after feeding, just in case he latches on- it would be nice to know if he's actually GETTING anything or not.
I think Elliot enjoyed his time with Grandpa. We also did more trust and relaxation exercises with the occupational therapist today. I swear, that woman is a MIRACLE worker! If it weren't for her, we never would've been able to get him to calm down enough to eat. Everyone in the hospital calls her the "baby whisperer."
Elliot is doing pretty well these days. The main things we're working on are:
1. Bottle feeding- he now gets 58 cc's per feeding and takes about 30-40 on his own. He can't go home until he can take full bottles for two days straight.
2. Weight Gain- he was doing well with this but has been losing a little lately. He now weighs 8 lbs 3 oz.
3. Breastfeeding- slowly making progress. Thank GOD for nipple shields!
4. Muscle toning- normal full term babies like to keep their hands/arms up by their face. Elliot, like many NICU babies, lets his arms hang limp at his sides. We're working on keeping his shoulders forward and arms up.
5. Trust- Since Elliot spent the first three weeks of his life flat on his back, he is scared to be in other positions.


Grandpa and Elliot.


Sleepy sleepy.


BIGGG eyes. Not mine, his. I'm looking at the flash rather than the lens. Can you tell I'm used to being BEHIND the camera? :)

We're movin' on up the first page!

Breastfeeding = the hardest thing I've ever {tried} to do.

I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but breastfeeding is hard. If that sounded sarcastic, it was. Because the minute you say you want to breastfeed, every other mother in the world has something to say about it and of course, they always end with: "... but it's REALLY hard."
They weren't kidding! Sure, I knew it would be tough. I knew it would hurt. I knew that so many other mothers have tried and failed at breastfeeding. But none of that mattered to me, I just assumed I could do it. After all, I was am determined. I figured, as long as I didn't give up, I could do it.
WELL. I'm sure breastfeeding a regular, healthy, full-term newborn is hard enough. But I can't even put into words how hard it is to convince a baby with a sore, swollen belly, a recessed chin, acid reflux, and an almost-permanently arched back to hold still {and stop using his mom's boobs as a personal punching bag} long enough to latch on. Add the fact that he didn't even EAT for the first three weeks of his life, then went straight to the bottle, and you have a recipe for disaster.
The last few days were horrible, to say the least. Yesterday, lactation consultants, occupational therapists, and nurses were all trying to help Elliot latch on. We tried different positions, nipple shields, syringes, soothing, wrangling... the works. He WOULD. NOT. LATCH. I was ready to give up.
Sharon, our lactation consultant, even admitted that some babies just can't do it... and that Elliot could be one of those babies. "Exclusive pumping is still an option," she pointed out. Except for the fact that I'm not even making enough milk right now to feed him. I left the hospital yesterday thinking that my dreams were dashed and I was going to be feeding my son formula. I felt like a failure.
Today, when we got to the NICU, Elliot was starving. You could hear him screaming from down the hall. While his bottle was warming, we gave him a bath, put a fresh diaper and onesie on him, swaddled him up, did a few relaxation exercises with him that I learned yesterday from the occupational therapist, and... he was CALM. So my husband looked at me, with the bottle in his hand, and said, "Do you want to try to breastfeed him?" I looked down at Elliot skeptically and shrugged. Sure, why not. It couldn't hurt, right? I was preparing myself for the kicking, screaming banshee that my son turns into whenever we even ATTEMPT to get him close to the boob.
Magically, after only one or two tries, and the help of a nipple shield, he LATCHED RIGHT ON! He actually nursed happily for twenty-five minutes before falling asleep. You should've seen me- I was beaming ear-to-ear and kept saying to my husband, "Look at him! LOOK! He's sucking! And swallowing! And BREATHING!" I just couldn't believe it.
The feeding went so well, in fact, that we decided to give it at try again at his next feeding. And wouldn't you know it?! He latched right on and nursed until he fell asleep again! Sure, he might have been drooling a lot and I might have had milk soaking my bra and dripping down my belly, and my back might've felt like it was going to snap in half since I couldn't figure out how to recline my chair, but I was the HAPPIEST MAMA IN THE WORLD.
So there you have it. Apparently, I'm not a failure and there IS still hope. Who knows, today could've been a fluke and he could have a horrible day again tomorrow but... today, Elliot proved that he CAN latch on. It's just a matter of whether or not he WANTS to.
Seriously, though, don't let anyone tell you anything different: BREASTFEEDING IS HARD!!

Thanks to YOU, we are now on the FIRST PAGE!!!!!!!!! WOW! Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I also have an assortment of awards to accept. I shall be doing that shortly... probably cheating and putting them all in one post :)

Days thirty & thirty-one

Things have been pretty interesting around here lately, with lots of changes, the main one being that Elliot moved to the brand new children's hospital and into HIS OWN ROOM yesterday! His room is complete with two comfy reclining chairs (one that folds out into a little bed), our own sink (so we don't have to wash in the scrub room anymore), and our own closet for our coats and bags (no more lockers, yay!). I'm able to pump right at the bedside now which is GREAT because I always hated dragging myself away from the nursery to go pump.
We like our new room so much better than the old nursery setup. It's so much quieter and less chaotic, which means that Elliot sleeps more peacefully. In addition, we get more privacy and are able to feel more like a "real" family.
It was easy to see that Aaron felt so much more comfortable in our new room. He spent a lot more time than usual holding, cuddling, and talking with Elliot, and it was so heartwarming to watch. I seriously love this man so much- he has been incredibly supportive and I don't know what I would do without him. He is a great husband and an even better father.
We're slowly making progress with feeding. Lately, Elliot takes 5-15 cc's from us before either getting really mad or falling asleep, and then we gavage the rest of his feeding. He now gets 38 cc's at each feeding, and he is only getting 8.5 cc's/hr of TPN. He hasn't gone to breast in a couple days because he has been breathing so hard, but I think we'll try it again tomorrow, along with some more skin-to-skin time.
He spends a HUGE portion of each day grunting and squirming while trying to poop, and is producing 1-2 HUGE bowel movements a day. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that breastfed poop is often BRIGHT ORANGE?! The first time I saw it, I freaked out because I thought something was wrong. Apparently, it's quite common for the babes lucky enough to eat from the boob. His poop really doesn't smell that bad either... my husband and I have both decided that it smells almost exactly like mustard.
Yesterday, I was holding Elliot and he pooped ALL OVER me. It was pretty funny! He felt so much better (after losing SIX OUNCES from one poop!) that he stayed awake for several hours.

Mama Update: I've been taking Fenugreek for five days now with no results. Everything I've read says that "most women" see results in 24-72 hours. I'm increasing my dose tomorrow and REALLY hoping that it's just taking longer than usual to kick in. Otherwise, my lactation consultant is probably going to write me a prescription for Reglan to increase my supply. I'm also drinking 2-3 cups of Mother's Milk tea a day.
I was really hoping to go home with an exclusively-breastfeeding baby, but I see now that it's not going to happen. Unfortunately, I will be pumping and bottle feeding (breastmilk) every three hours AND breastfeeding a few times a day, too. We'll probably go home doing 2-3 breastfeedings a day and slowly increasing from there. I have no idea how I'm going to juggle all of this and am REALLY hoping Elliot gets the hang of breastfeeding SOON.


Daddy and Elliot bonding.


Kisses! ♥


Why, what big eyes you have!


Just hanging out in his bouncy chair.


YAY for my new room!


Sleeping in the boppy with Mommy- the boppy helps to bring his shoulders and arms forward. He has a very bad habit of letting his arms fall limp at his sides, which is very unnatural for a baby his age but is not uncommon in NICU babies. Forcing him to have his shoulders forward and arms and hands up by his face improves his muscle tone.


Zzzzzzzzz


Don't worry mom, I can hold my own paci.

We're almost on the first page! WOW!

Day Twenty-four.

A lot happened today but I'll start with the very best, most exciting news: I was able to breastfeed Elliot for the first time! I was pretty nervous because I wasn't sure if he'd be able to latch correctly, especially since he has so much trouble with the bottle. But I'm proud to say that he took to the boob like a real pro! He started rooting immediately and was nursing in no time. It was the most amazing feeling.
I had just pumped right before nursing him though, so he still had to take a bottle afterwards. He just doesn't get it. He lets all the milk drool out of his mouth. And I wish I could tell you how long it takes him to finish 11 cc's of milk {which is really only a couple mouthfuls}. I won't complain though- I'd rather him prefer the breast to the bottle any day!
AND breastfeeding him seems to have helped my supply- I've been able to pump 1.5 ounces consistently. That might not sound like much but I've only been getting .75ish ounces for over a week now, so I was THRILLED.
They said I can put him to breast anytime we're there for his feedings {which are every 3 hours}, so I'm pretty excited to see how things progress and how this affects my supply.
I'm in such a good mood that it doesn't even bother me that much that the other {younger} gastroschisis baby in our nursery, Zackery, went home today. I'm happy for his family. Of course, I'd rather have Elliot home, too... but at least someone gets to enjoy being home as a family.

Day Eighteen.

When we got to the NICU today, the first thing we noticed was that Elliot's repogle had leaked green gunk all over his bed. We got the sheets all changed and I scooped him up to hold him. After about a minute of rocking, he puked up green bile and it got all over his face, outfit, and blanket. This is the very reason we haven't been able to start feeds yet- everything is coming out the wrong way!
Once we got him into a fresh onesie and the nurse reinserted his repogle, he was one happy little guy and was wide awake and content for awhile {while we were holding him} before he fell back asleep.
Thanks for all the advice and tips with the pumping. I talked to my nurse about it today and she suggested pumping more often. Supply and demand. Now, to be honest, that was the one thing I was REALLY hoping she wouldn't say- because as it is, I'm already pumping every two hours with just one six hour break at night. Wellll... I guess I can kiss that goodbye! You might as well call me the Milk Machine... that's what I feel like! It's definitely for a good cause... but I can't wait for Elliot to start breastfeeding.


Elliot likes not having his repogle tube in! {This was right before they reinserted it}


Good as new with a new onesie and repogle.


Baby burrito!




Being a baby is hard work.

Day Six.

Today was an eventful day for little Elliot. When we first got to the NICU, he was sound asleep and no matter what we did, we couldn't get him to wake up. The nurse let us put the top on his isolette up for awhile, so it was our first chance to kiss his little nose and get up close to him. It was wonderful!
Right before we were planning to leave to go grocery shopping, though, Aaron changed his diaper and he started freaking out. Nothing we did (wrapping him up like a mummy, giving him his pacifier, "rocking" him, or even the sweeties drops that he loves so much) would calm him down. We soon found out why, though- when he spit up a massive amount of bright green bile. The tube in his mouth is supposed to suck all of that yuckiness out of his belly, but Elliot had managed to pull the tube out a little so it wasn't working anymore. Once the nurse repositioned the tube and sucked out several ounces, he was wide eyed and content for awhile before falling back asleep again.
His surgery has been moved to Thursday or Friday, most likely. Since almost all of his bowel is back into his belly, Elliot is starting to swell up and is pretty uncomfortable most of the time. He has the STRONGEST suck reflex ever and is recognizing when he is hungry, but since he can't eat yet he gets pretty frustrated. I think he'll be really happy when he heals up from his surgery and is finally ready to start eating!
We're heading back to the NICU in an hour or so for a parents meeting/dinner and then to spend a little more time with Elliot before heading back for the night. I'm hoping to meet some other NICU parents at the meeting. And tonight could be interesting because I'm going to try to go six hours without pumping- the lactation consultant told me that as long as I'm pumping every 2 hours throughout the day, I should be able to last for six-hour stretch of sleep at night. This would be GREAT because I feel like a slave to the pump and getting up every two hours all night long gets old really fast. I'm not sure how I'll be able to do it without exploding, though. The nurse said to just wait until my boobs wake me up. We'll see how it goes!
And here are the new pictures from today:




Kisses from Daddy.