Monday, February 28, 2011

Powerful Words

Did you know that I was urged by several different people, including some in my own family, to abort my son... because of the possibility of chromosomal problems?

This woman was given not only the miraculous gift of life, but also the gift of powerful public speaking. Some of the quotations that jumped out at me are below:

"We are in an interesting battle, whether we realize it or not. It is a battle between life and death. Which side are you on?"

"God has a way of making the most miserable thing beautiful."

"So when I hear the appalling, disgusting argument that we should have abortions because the child just might be disabled, ugh! The horror that fills my heart."

"There are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, YOU are the one that loses."

"It is the mercy of God that sustains you... even when you hate him."

Just some food for thought.


  1. I am very glad you did not listen to them... hes just too cute...

    BTW if you didn't get my last comment i nominate you LOL

  2. wow.
    im really at a lost for words.
    I love that, that thought never crossed your mind.

    I am sure looking at him today, that thought, that anyone would want you do that; sends you to years.

    All I can say is you ROCK, & your son is pretty awesome too :)

  3. my nephew (sis-in-laws son) was born with gastroschisis and he is 10 now.

    I cannot believe people would urge you to do that - that is awful. I bet you are SO happy that you did not listen.

    I believe that every child is a gift from God!

  4. I simply can not imagine offering that as advice to a pregnant woman, family or not disabilities or not. That is just, just terrible, and I am so sorry that you ever had anyone suggest it to you.

    I think it is wonderful that you didn't listen because now you have such an amazingly cute little boy! <3

  5. She lives in my dad's neighborhood and spoke at our church last summer...I was a WRECK. She really knows how to talk

  6. Like others, I can not imagine suggesting this to someone...that would be your choice, and they have no right to even hint at it. Family should support you no matter your choices

  7. I love this youtube video! The first time I saw it i was amazed! :) Your son is a precious gift... Im so glad you knew that

  8. While I dislike abortion and would probably consider myself "pro-life," sometimes the suggestion of abortion as a medical procedure (ie, to basically terminate pregnancy in the case of an extremely deformed/terminally ill/100% non-viable fetus) isn't really meant to mean the same thing as suggesting you abort a baby because it might be "imperfect." As I recall, for awhile before you received your official diagnosis, the doctors thought the baby might have a terminal chromisome related problem, ie one that wouldn't allow the baby to survive at all outside the womb. In my mind, abortion in these instances is more of a medical procedure than it is, say, were somebody to find out their child were missing a finger. In fact, for some women carrying such non-viable babies, bringing a pregnancy full term is dangerous, ill-advised, and sometimes impossible, so I am not quite sure why you see a need to lump in medical procedures together with people suggesting abortion perhaps as a way to avoid dealing with a special needs child. It seems as in your case, people may have been advocating abortion as a medical procedure for you when they did not know if your baby would be viable, rather than suggesting you abort your child merely because it might have a minor defect that ultimately has been healing well with treatment. These are two really different circumstances in my mind, and I wonder if you've considered them as such.

    Just my two cents... perhaps you should come down a little bit from your pedestal and consider that the people who might have advised you one way were doing so much more from a purely medical perspective than from an insulting or "get out of jail free card" perspective. Now, if they were advocating an abortion after finding out the problem was just a birth defect, that's a different story, but since you specifically mentioned them in relation to when you thought there were chromosomal issues going on, you might want to consider that in some instances, the advice would have been medically sound for your own health and in rarer instances, your only choice.

  9. To the anonymous poster above-

    Your argument is not logical because

    1) Elliot did not have a problem that would have been incompatible with life after birth, obviously. So that is the danger in acting on that assumption. How many babies are aborted because parents are advised that the baby can't live outside of the womb, when in fact, they could have? Doctors aren't little demi-gods in white coats who always know the right thing to do.

    2) It would have been up to Jess and her husband to decide if abortion was "medically" necessary, and wasn't at all her relative's place to advise.

    Also, your argument holds less credence when you won't sign your name.

  10. i'm with you. we didn't even do all the genetic/disability screenings other than the normal scheduled ultrasounds because they wouldn't have changed anything for us... we were having us a baby no matter what!


  11. Dear anonymous-
    I realize they were suggesting abortion BEFORE we knew that Elliot had gastroschisis and not a more serious problem. To me, however, abortion still wasn't even an option. In my opinion, IF Elliot were conceived with a fatal or serious chromosomal problem, he was made that way for a reason. Everything happens for a reason, even if we do not know why. In almost every trisomy, there are cases of children surviving for hours, days, weeks, months, even years! Imagine what I could learn and take from that time with that child. It's just against my beliefs to play God. God gives us children, in all shapes and form, for a reason. They change our lives. Even if they don't make it to birth- that time spent carrying the child is something precious, that you will never get back. I would never end that. It's life changing.
    Now, after saying how {I} personally felt/feel, I do realize that many people would not want {or have the strength} to continue a pregnancy if they knew that their child most likely wouldn't make it to birth or survive. That's fine. Everyone is different. I'm not condemning others for choosing abortion for medical reasons. It's just not something that I could or would be able to do.

  12. PS- certain people who suggested abortion to me, are pro abortion in almost all cases- basically just as birth control. It's not as if they were pro-life "except" in medical cases- they're pro abortion period. Now THAT, I am totally 100% against. Others may be able to justify it, but I can not.

  13. Thank you for sharing this! I never would have seen the video otherwise. She truly is a gifted speaker, and beyond that she's beaten all the odds and has such a story to tell!

    I'm with you, there's nothing a test or a doctor could tell me that would make me choose abortion.

  14. When we found out about Kaleb's chromosome disorder my family as well made hints to the fact that I should abort him. It wasn't even an option for me. This is my child, yes he will have difficulties in life and this is not easy BUT he is MY child and I love him and his extra chromosome!

  15. And to the anonomous poster... during my pregnancy I was told that my son most likely had Trisomy 18 which is almost always fatal. This along with Trisomy 13 are known for not being compatible with life. HOWEVER, there are children LIVING with these chromosome disorders so to me there was never a choice. If this is the disorder my son had more than likely he would only survive a few hours after birth and I would rather know him for a few hours than to never have known him or met him at all.

  16. I love this! I am super pro-life too. I am not out to bash pro-choice people. *I* just wouldn't ever do it.

    I have an award for you on my blog!

  17. Found you through Diaper Swappers!

    So glad to see the progress of your little miracle! =)
    Blessings on your family.

  18. I will say I am pro-choice... however a woman has the right to do with her body whatever she wants. That's what makes Amercia great. No once can tell anyone what to do with their own body which ever way you decide to choose. I am pro-choice but I will say now that I have my own baby, I do think differently about choice than I did before.

    Very good post. Makes you think about things for sure.
    Elliot is a beautiful baby boy and god bless him! :)

  19. Let me add... I really am educated & I can spell - I meant to say "America" above! LOL

  20. Skye- thanks for coming out and saying it! I know I have more than one pro-choice reader and was wondering if anyone was just going to put that out there. Being pro-choice is your perogative. We all have different beliefs, values and opinions... nothing wrong with that. It's what makes us individual human beings. :)

    PS- I've been making a lot of spelling mistakes lately, too- that's what happens when you have to type with one hand ;)

  21. I was told to because of my age. I am so happy that I didn't to it.
    She changed my world for the better.

  22. for some reason i just went back to this post & wanna give a big jgflkrdajlgkfja()*(#*04 to anonymous

    you are on not pedestal my dear.


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