Monday, December 20, 2010

Updates :)

Okay, it's been a BUSY weekend with all of my husband's family here... so I {still} haven't uploaded the new pictures. Cut me some slack :) I'll try to add them tonight!
What's new with Elliot
♥ 1. He got his PICC line on Saturday, so they were able to take the IV out of his hand and both of his hands are free now :) The bad news is that his PICC had to go in his scalp because they couldn't find any good veins anywhere else... and now that his hands are free, our little man is busy trying to pull out his tubes 24/7.
♥ 2. Elliot is still losing weight. He weighs about 5 lbs 9 oz now. They've increased his feedings and are hoping he'll start gaining soon.
♥ 3. The surgeons came by yesterday and they are tentatively thinking that his first surgery might be on Wednesday- two days from now! This is exciting but also nerve-wracking.
Mama Update:
I'm finally starting to feel better. Still swollen and cramping... but at least it's tolerable now. MY MILK FINALLY CAME IN YESTERDAY which is awesome, but it means that I have to keep a rigorous pumping schedule or else my boobs feel like they're going to explode and I start leaking.
I had a meltdown last night when we got back from the NICU. When we got there at 10:00pm the nurse told us that Elliot had been crying ever since shift change and she couldn't calm him down... and shift change is at 7:30pm. That's almost THREE hours of crying, people. It took everything in my power not to start bawling right then and there. I felt like a horrible mother for not being there to console my child. It kills me that he just has to lay on his back 24/7... that we can't hold him or cuddle him to make him feel better. When we went to bed I just lost it. My husband made me feel better eventually but I still feel guilty about it. I know that it's impossible for us to be there for everything, but it still makes me so sad. I always dread getting up and leaving him.
The Ronald McDonald house has been great. My husband is wonderful- he has been taking care of me. I love my little family and life :)


  1. I am so happy to hear that he is doing well! Yay for regular BM's & Milk Production!!! You are an amazing mother and you have a husband and family that love you and that little boy to pieces :)

    Lots of prayers and good thoughts your way! xoxo

  2. So glad he's doing well!!! and I remember what it was like when my milk came in... holy cow there was a ton of it and getting engorged is no fun. But you are doing such a great job Mommy!
    I'm so sorry he has to spend so much time in the NICU. My little one had to go pretty much straight to the NICU after he was born, but he was only there for 4 hours. And just in 4 hours I felt helpless and frustrated. So I can only imagine how hard that must be! Just remember he's in good hands, and he knows how much you love him!
    Can't wait to see more photos!

  3. Oh honey, I'm so happy he's doing well, but that must be so hard! Hearing your child cry is heartbreaking, and I'm sure it makes you feel helpless and almost sick. But you know he is in good hands, and he is loved, and things will get easier. Hurray for the progess he is making.

  4. As a mom of a newborn, I can empathize with how hard that must have been to know Elliot was crying for so long. But you have nothing to feel guilty about- my new baby cries a lot, sometimes for hours, in the evening; sometimes even being held or nursed makes no difference. I'm glad you're feeling better today.

    My husband and I are pulling for Elliot and your whole family is in our prayers.

  5. thinking about you and sending thoughts and prayers to you and Elliot. I can't even begin to imagine how hard and heartbreaking it is not to be able to hold your little man.

  6. I'm so happy that you're feeling better. It's still so hard for me to put into words how I felt when my daughter was in the NICU. The closest thing is to say that it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest and I was a crying mess the whole time.

    I never wanted to leave her. When we would visit her in the hospital, sometimes we would go out to lunch or dinner and come back. While at a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter, I would have plenty of breakdowns.

    I remember during that time I would see other moms with their newborns but my baby couldn't be with me and I couldn't be with her like I so desperately wanted and I would feel jealous.

    I know it's very difficult now but he will be home before you know it. It's hard to look at the big picture but the time will come when your little man will be by your side and then you can give him all of the kisses and snuggles you want outside of visiting hours. :)

  7. It's great to hear that Elliot is doing okay and that so are you. Congratulations on your milk coming in! As for the not so great stuff, I'm still praying away! Everything will be okay and I know you're looking forward to the difficult things being over. I know it broke your heart to hear about Elliot crying for so long :(. Stay strong and take care of yourself too. I pray for peace and contentment to fill you. Can't wait to see more pictures :)

  8. Thanks for the update mama! I've been thinking about you and Elliot constantly!

    Take it easy on yourself, you can only do so much. I know it breaks your heart to hear that he was crying, but he is a strong little guy and he will get through this. He KNOWS that he is loved.



“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
-Dr. Seuss